Posted by: Derek Guyer | April 16, 2012

Pornography: Removing the Veil & Shining the Light on the Beast


You know someone who is looking at it on a regular basis. Honestly, there’s a very good chance that you know someone who is obsessed with it. You also probably know of a marriage that is being ripped apart by it. But, it’s very likely you have no clue that they are dealing with it in secrecy and fear, hoping that you, and everyone else around you, will never find out they LOVE looking at pornography.

It could be the man sitting in the pew behind you on Sunday. It might be the preacher or the guy in the cubicle next to you. There’s a good chance it could be the neighbor woman starved for some attention from her unattentive and unresponsive husband. It could be the guy on Facebook posting all of his profound thoughts about the Bible. It could be the husband sitting next to you on the couch.

“We have countless churches filled with countless men encumbered by sexual sin, weakened by low-grade fevers — men happy enough to go to Promise Keepers but too sickly to be promise keepers.”

-Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, Every Man’s Battle

Pornography is a filthy beast. It looks so alluring to the eyes, but its after-effects are sickening. God made the human body to be alluring and beautiful, but it was designed to be beautiful and fulfilling only in the context of the covenant relationship of a marriage, where a husband and wife can enjoy the fruit of physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. Sex is so beautiful when kept in proper perspective. There, sex can be indulged in and enjoyed. It is, however, important to acknowledge that sexual intimacy should never be idolized inside or outside of the marriage.

This idolizing of sex has been happening since the beginning of time. Recorded in the scriptures are hosts of men and women who misunderstood its design and purpose and who made wrecks of their own lives and the lives of those around them. That’s exactly what’s happening today with pornography. It is a cancer and it is killing and destroying more and more people who have easier access than ever before.

“Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

-I Corinthians 6:13

Unfortunately, the effects of pornography’s long-armed reach are still being discovered as it continues to wreck homes all over the world. The way it affects the mind, the sexual intimacy of the marriage, and the heart of those who are consuming it is treacherous. It is an ugly beast.

Here are a few startling pornography statistics from 2006 I found on the Family Safe Media site :

  • Every second – 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography
  • Every second – 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines
  • Daily pornographic search engine requests: 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
  • Percentage of internet users who view porn: 42.7%
  • 1 of 3 of visitors to adult websites are women
  • Average age of first internet exposure to pornography is 11 yrs old
  • 8-16 year olds having viewed porn online 90%
  • Largest consumers of Internet pornography are 35-49 yr olds
  • 47% of Christians said pornography is a major problem in their home

As you can see, the problem is not small. Unfortunately, too many people are naïve and others are just plain foolish for not acknowledging the problem for what it actually is. It’s a monster.

We want to draw some attention to the beast of pornography over the next couple of weeks. Weeks ago, Lisa and I were contacted by a preacher and his wife about how pornography had wrecked their home. They asked us if we would be willing and interested in sharing their story anonymously with our readers and we jumped at the chance to have some help for so many marriages who we know are struggling with the effects of porn.

We’ve gone through their story and divided it into several posts. For some of you, their story will feel completely foreign. But for others, it will seem all too familiar. In either case, there are some important truths to be realized from their fall and from their reconciliation. I think you’ll find it horrifying, but uplifting, in so many ways.

You may know someone who needs this series of posts and a kick in the pants in a very bad way, and I encourage you to help us raise awareness without making people feel stupid. The statistics say this is a problem that touches the majority of American homes and for that reason people who struggle with it should not feel like they are alone. We want to awaken, educate, challenge, and encourage those who are struggling. No amount of nagging and annoying people will solve this problem. Surrendering to Jesus Christ and to the freedom He’s offered is the answer. We must let Him bring us from the Kingdom of Darkness into the Kingdom of Light.

Please join us for the next couple of weeks as we try to shed some light on pornography and its devastating effects. We’ll be adding links to our Desperate for Help page and in the posts to help those who are in serious need of help and working hard to educate the masses. Feel free to follow our blog via email on the right side of page by entering your email or by adding it to your RSS feed if that makes it easier than trying to remember to come back on your own. You may also want to join our Rise of the Home group on Facebook and post the stories and articles on your own Facebook and Twitter feeds as we strive to shed some light on the subject for people around you.

Mark April 18th, 2012 on your calendar and check back as we unveil the beast of pornography. In the meantime, consider sharing your story with us as well. We’d love to be able to help husbands, wives, sons, and daughters everywhere who could be saved, educated, and even protected from the sting of pornography. If you’re interested in sharing, contact us.


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Responses

  1. This is the bane of my existence in my marriage right now…

    • Bird, I’m so sorry to hear this. We’re helping a lot of marriages where this is a consistent issue and some of the worst situations we’ve ever experienced in our ministry had porn as the wedge driving the husband and wife apart. I’ve had you in mind a lot of the last week and am prayerful for the glory of God in your marriage and for your healing. If we can serve you and your husband in any way, please let us know.

  2. I really appreciate the prayers and offers of help. I just have no real idea how to deal with what has been happening lately. My husband is addicted to pornography…I’m speechless. I don’t know what to do at all. That is odd for me; I don’t get thrown off much anymore by attacks from the devil, but wow…the bullet landed, that’s for sure…. The worst part is that it is a secret…secret from my kids, secret from friends, family. I hate secrets with a passion. I understand how pornography works..probably better than a lot of people. Porn was used to introduce me to the concept of sex by the person who molested me for years as a young girl, so having pornography show up in my marriage all of a sudden is doing a real number on me mentally. And frankly, my husband, who had a fantastic childhood with a magnificent family simply can’t understand just how devastating this is for a person like me.
    That being said, I am not mad at my husband. Satan attacks me on a regular basis, and it is usually coincides with Jesus directing me to do something.
    I won’t divorce my husband, and I am not going to roll over and pretend this isn’t happening. That is the extent of my plan…I have NO IDEA what to do at all!! Other than pray, I’m simply stunned and plan-less…
    Sorry to lay all of this on you, but I actually went looking for a Christian man who seemed to be called by the Lord to address this particular hardship in men and women’s lives. I don’t belong to a church, and even if I did, there would be no way my husband would go talk to a pastor. Obviously, he is ashamed, but an addiction is an addiction and I have found some “tracks” showing that he has slipped again. I haven’t been even wanting to talk about it lately because what’s to talk about?? I don’t want to drive him so deep into self-hatred and shame that it damages his trust in me…though my trust in him has been broken somewhat. ANY advice would help me, PLEASE!!

    • Bird, I’m so sorry! I will send you an email and we can talk about it further. Thank you for sharing and trusting us!

      • Ok. I would really appreciate it, even if it only to vent..

        🙂

  3. […] Check out this article, the first in a series on Rise of the Home:  Pornography: Removing the Veil & Shining the Light on the Beast. […]


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