Posted by: Sharon Hatfield | May 6, 2010

Compliments: Crossing the Line


“Effusive compliments between men and women who are not married to each other are like fuel for the fire of seduction.”

The One You’ve Always Wanted is the One You Already Have by Paula Friedrichsen

It all falls under trying to fulfill the scripture of “building up one another.” However, this can be a dangerous trap when we cross the gender lines. Women can overload other women with compliments and encouragement, but when it comes to men, we need to be careful in what we say and how we say it. I catch myself doing this all the time. When a woman overly compliments a man it feeds his sexual energies, even if it’s not a sexually related compliment. When men compliment a woman, it feeds her sense of self-worth. It is good to encourage one another in the Spirit to continue doing Gods work. We just all need to be careful that we are not feeding the enemies’ cause and showing a chink in our armor. Rest assured, Satan will use it. It’s not our intentions with the compliment that’s in question, it’s the appropriateness from the other person’s perspective that we need to evaluate.

What do you think about receiving compliments? Do you notice how you sometimes feel a little too appreciative of being noticed?  What if your spouse gave you the same compliment? Does it mean more or less to you if it comes from someone other than your spouse? Are you more likely to dismiss a compliment your spouse gives you than you are from another man (or woman for that matter)? Am I the only one who sees the lines of gender being crossed a little too often, even from my own mouth?

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