Posted by: Derek Guyer | March 24, 2010

Not My Own

I’ve really learned to appreciate our work with Rise of the Home in a new way over the last year. I’ve always been thankful for the opportunity to serve God and His people, but more and more I’ve seen God using this work as a way to not just help others, but to teach me. In these twelve months, I’ve seen His mighty power in much more significant ways than ever before. Honestly, it’s come in some great lessons of humility for me. (For those who know me well, this is long overdue…)

Lisa and I seem to constantly be esteemed as knowledgeable and experienced in the area of heavy marital issues. We’ve had some great opportunities to help numerous marriages across the world and, while I’m thankful for those experiences, I’m more thankful for what God has done to show Himself to us and those we serve. We’ve seen God in a totally different light than ever before.

For far too long, I’ve seen God as quiet and less involved than He was in the Bible days. I’ve said I see him as big and great, but in reality I’ve tried to be God myself, making decisions as I thought best. I’d pray and ask for guidance, but really I just wanted His input at certain times. Although I wouldn’t have wanted to admit this before now, I didn’t really want Him to direct my life. I wanted a friend who would be there when I wanted and needed Him, but not a LORD of my life. Thankfully, that has now drastically changed.

Over the past year, God’s had me in some of the craziest situations of my life. I’ve driven to cities with only enough money and gas to just get there. There has been no promise of help from men to make those trips, but I’ve made it home with extra money in my pocket. I’ve had my life threatened by a husband who, just weeks later, I baptized into Christ and watched become my brother. I’ve moved my family into a camper trailer to help serve God’s people around the country and, as crazy as it may sound, have never been happier. I’ve repeatedly walked into counseling sessions and seen so much chaos that I have nothing to say other than to pray. But, by the time the prayer was finished, I had received the answer they needed, and their lives were totally transformed by the words God had given me. Through it all, I’ve seen God as LORD. Now, I’m giving up control of my life.

I can say today with Jeremiah, more than ever before, “I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.” My life is not my own. For this reason, I’m surrendering.

I don’t say this to boast in anything other than Jesus Christ. He alone is my rock, my hope, and my redeemer. I put my trust in Him and know He is mighty to save. I can no longer believe that I know more or better than others. I’m not my own. I must simply put my trust in Him. That’s it.

Are you the first man ever born?
Were you brought forth before the hills?
Do you listen in on God’s council?
Do you limit wisdom to yourself?

What do you know that we do not know?
What insights do you have that we do not have?

Job 15:7-9 NIV

We’d all love to be able to take control of things in our own lives. In fact, that’s the way all of us try to live. We want to control our spouses, our finances, our jobs, our kids, and anything else we can get our hands on. We want control, but really, what do we know? What depth of insight do we bring to an Almighty God?

I encourage you to reevaluate your present situation in light of this truth. Examine who is really in charge of your life. Are you fighting the truth or are you living in it? Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Is He living in you or are you still trying to run the show? If you’re the one trying to control things, I encourage you to take a step back and remember that, as a created being, there is one who knows much better about what you really need than you do. He isn’t just the author of your faith. He is the perfecter of it.

Put your trust in Jesus, the Christ. Put your life in His nail scarred hands. You are not your own.


  1. Just wanted to thank Lisa and you for all the sacrifices you and your family has made to help marriages. Thank you for helping us through what seemed like hopeless times, but most of all just helping us to build that relationship with God that we all need.

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