Posted by: Lisa Guyer | March 22, 2010

We All Fall Down

Wives, have you recently found out that your husband has a porn addiction or has had an affair? Has your whole world been rocked? Do you begin to question your entire marriage and all of the time that you’ve spent with this man that you thought you knew? Has it all been lies?

Obviously, I have only been on the opposite end of this spectrum, but the story of David was recently pointed out to me in respect to a situation like yours. If you recall, David is the one man in the Bible that is referred to as a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14). A man after God’s own heart. Wow. Now that’s a title. I have known a lot of godly men in my life, but I don’t know how many of them would actually be able to attain that kind of recognition. But somehow, David did, and everyone around him knew that about him. It wasn’t just an “appearance” or an “act” that everyone falsely believed. It was a truth spoken by a prophet of God.

However, when we go forward a little while into David’s story we are shocked to see that this man, who is supposedly a man after God’s own heart, does the unthinkable – he commits adultery! Not only does he sleep with another man’s wife, but he tries to cover up his sin with multiple lies even to the point of murdering Uriah, the husband (2 Sam. 11).

Does this sound familiar to any of you? Has your husband hurt you in a BIG way, and not only that, but also lied about it to make himself look better? How do you recover from something like that?

I ask you to again go back to 1 Samuel 13:14. David was a man after God’s own heart, but he still fell. David was tempted to sin, and he took the bait. Not unlike your husband. Your husband was tempted, and he fell. Does this mean that David ultimately lost his standing before God? No. Did this one act of sinfulness have consequences and lasting effects? Of course. But did it completely ruin the rest of his entire life and his influence for Christ later on? Scripture doesn’t indicate that at all. Go to Hebrews 11 where he is listed in the “Hall of Fame of Faith”. Go also to the first chapter of Matthew where Solomon (the son of David and his adulteress wife) is listed as part of the lineage of Christ! Scripture obviously seems to allude to the idea that he again found favor with God.

So what does this mean for you? It should be an encouragement for you to know that even a man after God’s own heart can commit adultery and heap lie upon lie to cover it up. Your husband is wrong for what he did, but he does not have to be condemned for it (John 8:1-11). Your entire marriage does not have to have been a sham. Your husband could have easily fallen in a weak moment, much like what happened to David. Do not allow Satan to talk you into believing that everything you’ve believed about your husband has been a lie.

Even godly, committed men can struggle with sexual temptations. Even godly, committed men can fall to sexual temptations. Even godly, committed men can go to great lengths to cover up their sin. But even broken, fallen men can be redeemed back to God and be used for His glorious purposes.


  1. Lisa,
    Very good thoughts. I was writing about this very thought yesterday in a study. I came across Romans 12, which we usually apply in a general Christian sense, but when these verses are applied specifically in the arena of our marriage big things happen. If these verses apply to our dealings with brothers and sisters in our body, now much more they apply to the one we have been united in a divine covenant with!

    I went through the verses and took out the general language and replaced it with husband specific language.

    Romans 12:9-21
    “Don’t just pretend to love him. Really love him. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love him with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring him. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When your spouse is in need, be ready to help him…
    Bless him when he persecutes you. Don’t curse him; pray that God will bless him. Be happy when his is happy, and weep when he weeps. Live in harmony with him… And don’t think you know it all!
    Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that your husband can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with him… Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.”

  2. Thank you so much for these wonderful articles.

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