Posted by: Lisa Guyer | December 20, 2009

Learning to Trust My Husband (and God)

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about submission and how it’s not burdensome to follow God’s plan in how a marriage should work.  In the last week or so, I have really been put to the test with this very mindset.

You can go here for a more detailed account as to what has been transpiring with our family, but in a nutshell we are moving.  Not only are we moving, but we are moving into a camper/trailer.  Now, a few major questions come up when people hear the news that a family is moving.  Those questions usually being something like: “Oh! Where are you moving to?” or “When are you going?” or “What’s the new house like?”  All of those are great questions that you normally can have a pretty good discussion about.  But when asked those, I kinda get tense and just shrug my shoulders and say “I honestly don’t know.”

When Derek found the trailer that he felt like God led him to, he was in Ohio doing some ministry work while I was at home with the kids.  He felt God’s hand in a specific trailer as he looked at it, so he put money down on it and came home with a few small pictures of it on his cell phone.  Thus, my introduction to our “new home”!  With the news of the new home, I began packing all of our stuff up.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I have been very excited about this new move, but I’m also what you could call a MAJOR control freak.  So, not seeing the new home before packing and organizing things and throwing things out was pretty hard for me.  But I had to trust Derek’s judgment as he made the decision for our family.

Which brings us to this week.  We had decided to leave Grandma’s house (where we’ve been living for the past 8 months taking care of her) on December 13th.  Well, that was one week ago today.  We’re still here.  We’re all packed up and living out of suitcases.  There’s barely any food in the cabinets because I put it all into boxes to take with us to the new home.  The kids have one toy here (Malachi’s bow and arrow) because the rest are in storage waiting their arrival into the new home.  So, why are we still at Grandma’s and not unpacking all of our clothes, food, and toys?  Because it’s not God’s will for us to go yet.  He will work all of the rest of the details out when He wants us to go.  So, in the mean time, we will wait.

……………Um, yeah…I’m not a good “wait-er”.  I’m a terrible one, in fact.  This past week has been such a struggle for me.  I have had days where I’m excited to see how God is working, but then the next day I wonder where God is hiding.  Many, many times during the week I begin to think back to how this all got started…Derek’s trip ALONE to Ohio.  The trip where he felt LED to a certain trailer.  The trip that he put MONEY DOWN on the trailer WITHOUT ME EVEN SEEING IT!  Do you see where this is going?  I play this through in my head until I am sure that Derek has made the worst decision ever.   I begin to doubt the fact that he even prayed about the decision before handing over the cash.   I question if he just got excited because he wanted a change.  Does he have any clue what he’s gotten us into?

I have felt very much what I imagine Sarah must have felt like when Abraham got back from speaking with God and he said to her, “Honey, start packing because God told me we are leaving.”  “No, honey, your mom isn’t going with us.” “I told you, dear, I have no idea where we are going.  Just get the pans packed up.”  “Sarah, He didn’t say where we were headed.  He just said ‘Go’”.  Not that the Bible ever says that Sarah questioned Abraham’s decisions, but in her mind she must have had her doubts or questions.  Then again, maybe not, maybe her faith really was that strong.  (I just like to imagine that the Bible characters are more human like I am!)

But amidst all of my doubts, the Spirit comes to me and I’m reminded of who’s in control.  So, what if Derek did make a hasty decision?  What if he did fork over a bunch of money for selfish reasons?  Does that make God any less sovereign?  Certainly not!  When in a clear mental state (which, honestly, has come and gone this week!), I truly believe that Derek acted according to God’s will in these decisions.  But, even if he had not, I know that God can take whatever foolish choices my husband makes and turn them into something that will work together for His plan.  (Romans 8:28)

So, why did I write this?  Obviously, it’s not one of those posts that I’m suggesting you act like or think like me, because I have been a pretty bad example of trusting my husband this week.  But instead, I wrote it so that you all can see where I struggle and hopefully gain something from what God has taught me.  My husband is not perfect, but God is.  My husband is trying to do His will, but even when he makes a mistake and falters in that, God can still make it all work according to His plan.

Stay tuned for how the rest of this story unfolds.  As of right now, we still don’t have answers to the question of when we are going.  I’d love to know, but God wants me to learn to trust.  Trust in Him and trust in my husband.  Please pray for me.


  1. praying and glad you are on this road…the road to life and fulfillment.

  2. I will keep you in my prayers. A lot of women struggle with this. Appreciate your honesty. This will be an encouragement for a lot of women.

    ” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4: 13

  3. Lisa,

    Thanks for the transperency. We men make some tough decisions. Not all are great and not all are within God’s will. However, it really helps when we have a Help Meet that is there to undergird us on these decisions. Tough as it may be for a woman to understand and encourage.

    I liken our decisions to a basball batting average. An extremely good hitter bats at a .300 average. That means they will get a hit about 30% of the time. That is about how we are with our decision making. We get it right about 1 out of 4 decisions made on a daily basis. Just my strange logic.

    Keep up the good fight!

  4. Hey, Lisa! I am so exciting for you! What a great opportunity to let God use you and your family and what great, exciting times you are going to have. We recently watched a video of a family that served the Lord through music and lived “on the road” in a trailer. The good times and blessings far outweighed the frustrating times for this family, as I am sure it will for you.

  5. […] to be “in charge” in the family. He needed leadership. Sometimes our role as women means doing things we don’t like. We do them as unto God. When we serve, obey and submit to man, we are doing it to God Himself. […]

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