Posted by: Lisa Guyer | September 28, 2009

Put It Into Practice: Submission

NOTE: This post is for those of you wives who are already resolved to the idea that God’s word is the final authority and that God’s way is better.  This is for those of you who are truly searching to do things in the way that God has planned for us.  If you aren’t at this point yet, then the following post may be difficult for you to accept.  If so, I have another post, entitled It’s Not Burdensome, that I have put up to hopefully encourage those of you struggling with the idea of submitting to your husband.

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Ephesians 5:24 NIV

I struggled back and forth when picking out which verse to start this series with.  I really felt led to this verse but didn’t want to start out with such a hard and controversial verse either.  I searched and searched but continued to be drawn back to the root of many of the problems that we see today in marriage – a wife who is unwilling to submit to her husband.

Many Christian wives would think of themselves as being submissive.  When asked, they would say, “Of course, my husband is the head of our household.”  Yet, if we were to look in on a typical day in our homes what would we really see?  When our children get out of control and our husbands decide to try a different childrearing method, how do we respond?  Do we argue and refuse to try his new method?  Do you question his authority in front of the children?

What about when your husband comes home and says that you, as a family, are going to go to visit a couple that needs encouragement instead of going to a night with your extended family that has been planned for weeks?  What if it’s a decision that seems like the wrong way to go?  What if he decides that you are going to start taking $50 out of every paycheck to go towards a new boat?  Do you submit then?

The scriptures don’t say, “Wives should submit to their husbands in everything as long as it seems like a good idea.”  It says, “in everything”…period.  You might be thinking, “Okay, Lisa, that’s great for you.  Derek always makes the best decisions and is always looking out for your best interests.  What about my husband who is usually making selfish decisions and frequently makes major errors in judgment?”  That is when our faith comes into play.  Faith in our husbands to really try and make the best decisions for our families, but beyond that a faith in God to take whatever decision our husbands make and use it for good to work out His plan for us.  Do you trust that God will take care of you and bless you for this obedience? Read through Deuteronomy 28 for a little insight in how God has blessed and punished his people in the past according to their obedience.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”  Do you want your house to stand firm against all of the winds and rains that come our way in life?  Give yourself a firm foundation and just simply obey.  Submit to your husband in everything.


  1. I know all these things and yet I totally need these reminders! Thank You!

  2. I totally agree with everything you posted!! Its soomething that I do struggle with. I have a really hard time with it because I am so strong willed and extremely independent. I know right now I am not leading a good life and not submitting myself whole heatedly to god. I am yearning to build my relationship and get back on track. I have been back sliding for months now. I have a serious question about this post though. What if your husband is not a christian? How far do you really submit?

  3. Heather, that is such a good question. The answer is found in 1 Peter 3:1-2 “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

    I believe that in our marriages (whether we are married to a believer or not) we are in submission to God first and then directly to our husbands. So, I would definitely run all questions through that filter. Is your husband asking you to submit in something that is in contradiction to what God has asked you to do? If so, then you obey God first. If it does not violate God’s will for you, then you obey your husband and pray that God works it out best for your faith.

    This is a great article that I found about this topic. Just some quick reminders and encouragements when going through this struggle.

  4. If anyone else has any suggestions or ideas or verses that have helped them through the struggles of being married to an unbelieving spouse, please share them with us!

  5. Thanks for this much needed message on submission. What a powerfully relevant blog you have, and I pray many marriages are helped through your testimony.
    Another verse I like to refer wives to is Proverbs 21:11 “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.” If God is sovereign over kings, He is also sovereign over husbands. My duty is to obey my husband and trust God with the results.

  6. […] to Trust My Husband (and God) A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about submission and how it’s not burdensome to follow God’s plan in how a marriage should work.  In the last […]

  7. […] God has given us a great task. We ladies need to learn self control. Can you refrain from nagging your husband because he doesn’t do what you want him to do? Are you able to help your husband with a task he sets for your family, even when you despise it? Can you do it cheerfully? Our curse is not about controlling our husbands. It’s about controlling our DESIRE to control and lead the family. I challenge you to release your husband to lead your home by controlling yourself. […]

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