Posted by: Derek Guyer | July 21, 2009

You Are Not Enemies

Over the last couple of weeks, our family has had the distinct honor of serving so many couples. We’ve met couples from all over the country who have been beaten down by the affects of affairs, abuse, and neglect. Satan has been wrecking homes left and right, but very few of them even realize what they’re up against. They rip and tear each other apart with very little understanding about what is really going on. They haven’t identified the real foe they’re facing, and so they continue to beat each other up. 

Scripture is very clear about the nature of the fight we’re in as children of God. It’s an earthly battle, but a battle in the Heavens. Our adversary, Satan, has done everything he can to keep us unaware of the reality surrounding who he is and how he works. He lies to our spouses and encourages them to do things that hurt and anger us in so many ways. At the same time, he’s deceiving us and encouraging us to believe so many lies about their responses and how we should handle them. He encourages selfishness, bitterness, and hatred under the guise of it being God’s will. He twists and turns scripture until “truth” is something we believe to be fluid. These lies and opposition must be confronted.

Your spouse is not your enemy. Paul, in his letter to the church at Ephesus, makes it very clear that we do not battle with flesh and blood. We are not fighting men or women. We are being tempted, lied to and opposed by the rulers, the authorities, the powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Unfortunately, Satan and his minions have dressed themselves like little lambs, and thus, the blame has been shifted elsewhere. His armies have done everything possible to keep us, as children of God, believing the idea that he, Satan, is nothing for us to fear. As long as we have imagined that Satan is a little kid dressed up for Halloween with horns and a pitchfork or even a sports team, we’ll never take him seriously. He does everything he can to take our attention off of him and put it elsewhere. Our biggest problem is that we’re not even awake to the problem.

Satan is a liar, a deceiver, our adversary, a false God, the accuser of the brethren, and so much more. He’s twisting and turning information all of the time. His goal is to destroy us, and if you take a close look around you, he’s taking people down everywhere. In an effort to wake us up, Paul encourages us to no longer even view one another as humans, but to see each other as spirits. If we can look past the human frailty and foolishness, we can see a much, much bigger battle being waged for our hearts and minds. 

Can you see that battle? Can you see that your spouse is not your enemy? Can you see that there is a war happening in the Heavens for you and your family? If not, I highly encourage you to read through Job 1. There is something much bigger going on here than meets the eye. Stop listening to the lies. Stop believing his accusations. He’s turning you against your spouse. He’s dividing your home. 

What lies is he telling you?

(Read through Ephesians 5:10-18 to read through the full text where Paul tells the church at Ephesus about the spiritual battle happening.)


  1. God has been speaking to me so clearly about this issue this past few weeks.

    I have realized that we have to be in a battle – our souls ache for a battle…we need to pick the right battle to be in – and be on the right side. If we are not in a bigger battle (i.e – serving others – helping with the sufferings of others – praying for others – loving others) We then give satan power over our battle plan. – and he attacks us like crazy.

    I wonder if we started battling the bigger battle (not of ourselves) how quickly our battles would dissapate?

    My husband is not my enemy… my enemy is beaten while I’m on my knees. Wow, that took a long time to figure out. I can only pray I remember that tomorrow morning when I wake up.

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