Posted by: Derek Guyer | May 13, 2009

Talk With Your Spouse Tip #15

Over the last week or two, I’ve spent quite a bit of time de-escalating arguments among several different couples. A few simple discussions had turned into some very intense fights amongst these couples. Sadly, almost all of them started from misunderstandings and miscommunication. There were very simple fixes to all of the problems, but a lack of understanding and control blew them way out of proportion.

This seems to be a regular occurrence in homes today. A simple word or phrase is used carelessly in the midst of a seemingly innocent discussion and before you know it, full blown fights have begun and are completely out of control.  It may have been a joke, a little teasing, a concern, or just a thought, but because of the way it was stated or perceived, things blow out of control. There are numerous ways these problems can start and then go crazy, but no matter what, “there is a time to be silent and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 7:7 NIV). If you’re in this position, my guess is simply being quiet would do a lot of good for your relationship. 

Solomon repeatedly talks about this in the Proverbs. So, I pulled out a handful of the verses to help illustrate the point. Read through them.  It’s likely you’ll know very quickly if they apply to you or not:

“Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”

Proverbs 10:19 NLT

“Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.”

Proverbs 18:13 NLT

“Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.”

Proverbs 20:3 NLT

“Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.”

Proverbs 21:23 NLT

Next time you think to talk, be quiet and think a little.

“A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.”

Proverbs 17:27-28 NLT


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