Posted by: Derek Guyer | February 12, 2009

From An Affair & Death Threats to New Life

Over the couple of months, I’ve been mentoring and ministering to a couple here in Indiana named Bill and Stephanie. They were referred to Lisa and I by another couple we’ve helped. They came to us as a last resort before they completely walked away from seven years of marriage.

In the process of working with them, I recognized a lack of trust from the wife towards the husband. She was very uncomfortable with most everything he said. He seemed very irritated by the lack of trust she exhibited.  I encouraged him to get everything out on the table that he’d admittedly been lying about and give her a reason to finally begin trusting him. They were supposed to pray for the next day or so and prepare themselves spiritually, so that when they sat down together to confess these things, they would both handle it correctly.  Unfortunately,  immediately after I left , she began pushing for details, he agreed, and confessed some of the lies.  As a result, things explooded. In both of their eyes, it was over.

The husband, Bill, went to work the next day and began asking for advice from a psychologist about what I had suggested.  The psychologist  immediately refuted everything I said and told him that I was wrong. She said that he should never have exposed all of his lies and left it alone, because it only opened up a lot of pain and made things worse for both of them. He came home in a fury and began walking around the house with a handgun in his pants ranting and raving about how he wanted to kill me for destroying his family and encouraging him to get everything out.

All the while, I was thinking they were getting ready for this big night and had no idea things had gotten a crazy. I sent him an email two days after our meeting to let him know I was praying and looking forward to hearing how the night went. He responded by telling me things had exploded, and he didn’t think things were going anywhere positive from there. He was in meetings through the morning, and so I immediately called his wife to try to get a better understanding of what all had happened. She told me about the conversation and everything that had transpired over the next day and a half.

I sat very quiet on the other end of the phone as she explained the painful experiences since I had left their house two nights before. The hurt feelings and pain poured out as I listened on.  She was driving on her way to meet him. I asked a few questions as she began to explain several things that she had found and was planning to ask him about when she got there.

Well, Bill finally confessed more of his sin and exposed an affair to Stephanie. In amazing form and completely by the grace of God, she was able to offer him forgiveness and even see some of her own fault in all of it. When he came home that afternoon, she began telling him all of the things she had neglected or done wrong in their marriage up to this point. He began seeing mercy and grace in a new light.

Amazingly enough, the grace and mercy Bill first saw in Stephanie on that Friday afternoon in January were the very beginnings of seeing the gospel for the first time in his life. They’d both gone to church for a long time, but as Jesus once said, “though seeing, they do not see” and though “hearing, they do not understand.” The did not see or understand. They’d never personally known the good news of Christ and the suffering he did for all mankind. 

So, over the next several weeks, we began a journey into scripture, and I allowed them to read for themselves about obedience, repentance, and baptism. In response, Bill and Stephanie asked to be baptized for the remission of their sins this past Sunday night. It was an incredible moment, and I know the angels rejoiced in Heaven over these two being clothed with Christ. It was a moment I’ll never forget.

As we were standing in the back after I had baptized them, Bill and Stephanie were hugging one another. Bill looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “Thank you, Derek. This is the beginning of my new life.” 

To watch a man go from so much brokeness and destruction to a new life in Christ has to be one of the greatest moments of my life. I rejoice in calling the man, who once felt so strongly opposed to me, and his wife my brother and sister-in-Christ. 

For any of you reading this story who have lost hope in your life, Bill and Stephanie’s story is a testimony to the abundant life waiting for you in Christ Jesus. As He told the adulterous woman, “Go and sin no more”. Repent, be washed in the water and walk in newness of life through obedience to Christ. There is hope.


(If you haven’t already read it, I’d highly encourage you to check out another part of their story about how God’s been bringing these two to him through all of this. This post is entitled How God Used Sam and it’s very encouraging read.)


  1. Hey Derek! Praise God that they were able to see what God was doing through Sam, you, and themselves to fix their marriage!! I really enjoy reading these posts, learning from them, and counting my blessings. Praise be to God that they were baptized as well!! Thanks for all you do for others!

  2. God is so AWESOME!!! I will never cease to be amazed at the power of the Word in men and womens lives. Sometimes you have to be so low that the only way to look is up. Praise the Lord! Please give our new brother and sister a hug for us and tell them we love them.

  3. What an awesome story!! Bill and Stephanie-“Congrats! And we’re so happy for you!!”

  4. Do we have an AWESOME GOD or what!!
    Bless you Derek and Lisa for ALL you do in His name.
    It is great to have a new brother and sister.

    Welcome to the family Bill and Stephanie!!!

  5. Our God is an awesome God. He will be with you in every walk of your new life in each other and with our dear Lord. Welcome to the family. The Lord bless you and keep you. Derek we love you!

  6. GOD can do immeasurably MORE than all we ask or imagine according to HIS POWER that is at work within us! Please give Bill and Stephanie a hug for me! I thank God for you and Lisa doing His will, giving hope where there was none.

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