Posted by: Derek Guyer | January 2, 2009

Cultural Homes vs Godly Homes

Through the last month, God has brought several new couples into our hearts and lives. As a result, we’ve been abundantly blessed with so many opportunities to serve and challenge others. With each new opportunity, we find ourselves learning so much and adjusting to the things God’s teaching us and those we serve.

One particular thing has stood out over recent weeks and I want to share:

I see a major neglect in teaching, and therefore understanding, of God’s will for how godly homes will look, feel, and perform. The root of the problem is a lack of willingness to acknowledge God’s ways above our own. Its fruits are church leaders whose homes are a wreck, sky rocketing divorce rates, and children who have little to no clue who they are or how to live. Homes are a wreck and one thing constantly pervades my mind:

“My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.”

Hosea 4:6

The modern home has turned away from God and taken on a new contemporary look and feel. Listen to pretty much every homosexual civil rights group out there and compare them with Biblical teaching.  You’ll find them to be nothing alike. Sure, those groups will use verses from the Bible to back up many of their ideals, but that usually has more to do with making things look “spiritual” or “religious”, rather than truly desiring God’s perfect will for the home. It’s as if the Bible is viewed as a buffet from which they can pick and choose as they like. What a shame.

So, we have wives looking for “love” in the arms of other men and sometimes, women. We have husbands addicted to pornography, prostitutes, and alcohol.  Their children are neglected as the parents head out for another drink or to work another overtime shift in the name of trying to pay off bills. The kids become lazy, spoiled, rude, and a burden to everyone else around them. Why? Because we’ve stopped raising godly homes. We’re raising cultural homes.

We’ve lost sight of God’s will for the home. Teachers have a harder time than ever in the school systems as they deal with children who have no respect for authority, because their parents have never modeled it for them. Mommy is disrespectful to daddy, so the children disrespect him, too. The husbands/fathers shut down when hard times hit because they’re fathers did that as well. Immediately, everyone in the home begins craving the emotional nutrients and vitamins their hearts were created to have. The result is broken homes.

If you really ache for a godly home and are sick of the fighting and failing, then seek God. The Bible says that if you will draw near to God, then He will draw near to you. Stop trying to figure it out on your own and obey Him. It is that simple.

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15


  1. Derek,
    I’m a new Christian and so many times I hear of what Godly living is NOT but I never hear what it IS. What does a godly home look like? I’d love to hear examples of what the home should look like, and what God really wants to see happen in our families.

    I get frustrated at our church as I never see what Christian living looks like as an example and if someone does give me an example I struggle to see how it’s different to the secular world at times. Coming in to Christianity late I think has given me insight into what the world really looks like… and I hate to say it, but I can’t see the difference between the church and the world majority of the time.

  2. You are so right Derek,
    When we choose to put God first and foremost in our lives, amazingly everything just falls into place. Homes rise, and He is glorified.

    “Since, then,you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
    Col. 3:1-2 (NIV)

    Hi Lauren, I encourage you to read the entire chapter of Colossians 3.
    In Christ,

  3. Jason, I knew you’d like this post. Thanks for sharing and encouraging Lauren as well.

    Lauren, I couldn’t agree more. Being inside the church for most of my life, I see few differences from the homes of those within from those outside of it. Admittedly, I’ve had a very hard time submitting to most older men because of this very problem. I haven’t seen godly principles and teachings played out in their homes and so I’ve had a very difficult time respecting their teaching and guidance. If they can’t lead their own children, how can they lead me or anyone else?

    “Train up a child and he won’t stray far from it.”

    This is why it’s so essential that we dig through scripture and look at God’s will for the home. Ephesians and I Peter describe quite a bit about the makeup of Christian homes, but I Timothy 3 and Titus chapters 1 & 2 take the duty of the husband/father and the wife/mother further. They speak to the requirements of elders and their wives and share some great insight into God’s will for how the home will look and feel. It’s an important read for all of us because those leaders/elders are to be patterning godly homes for us.

    Unfortunately, we don’t seem to have many of those examples today and we need to look at these passages and find out what it really means to be and live godly in the home. It’s easier than we might guess, but definitely a different path than the one most Christians and non-Christians are on.

    I hope you and others will take the time to read through those verses and then just do exactly what it says. Go and live what you read. Be the men and women of God He’s died for us to be and let your light shine to the rest of the world. They desperately need it and so do we.

  4. Thanks guys that IS encouraging. I’ve written those verses down and will go over them this afternoon.

    One thing God has been showing me lately is to read His word and pray diligently and let the Holy Spirit teach me. It’s leading to something I can only describe as peeling away of the bad stuff… I think I have a lot of bad attitudes to do away with!

  5. I too have many layers of bad stuff to peel away, Lauren. But the cool thing is, we as believers have the Holy Spirit in our corner, to guide and strengthen our hearts! To get us through this fight!
    As the old hymn goes:
    What a friend we have in Jesus!!

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