Posted by: Derek Guyer | December 15, 2008

ROTH Challenge #5

“You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” 

James 4:4 NIV

 I’ve found one of the greatest problems we encounter when helping struggling marriages comes from the company they keep. Their friends and family can have an incredible impact on their progress of healing or going further into the pits of Hell. 

The church has allowed far too many unhealthy relationships, and the effects on their souls, lifestyles, and hearts is heartbreaking. Out of a politically correct allegiance, they’ve allowed themselves to be attached to godless people. They do it all in the name of “being in the world, but not of the world”, but have no idea what that really means. It’s killing them. Their peers and associates have far too much influence. It’s long since been eroding away at the hearts of men and, as a result, the foundations of the home & the church.

Husbands & wives vent their marital problems to their peers at work and then listen to the worst advice ever given. They listen to people who have been in and out of marriage over and over again tell them how to respond to and deal with their spouse. They’re listening to total failures of the world tell them what to do and how to do it. 

My Dad used to tell me every time I left the house, “Derek, remember who you are.” I frequently would laugh and tease in response.  Invariably, Dad would respond with “I’m serious, Derek. Think about which way the influence is going.”

When you spend time with any of your friends or peers, which way is the influence going? Are you friends with people who make you an enemy with God? If so, what do you need to do about it?


  1. oooooo. this is a good one!

  2. There truly is a balance that we as believers must achieve between being “in” and “of” the world.

    I’ve heard it once described in three words:

    ISOLATION: Those who completely serarate themselves from any worldly influence such as tv, movies, social events and non-believers.

    IMITATION: Those Christians who act more like Brittany Spears than mother Theresa.

    INSULATION: Those who keep a barrier between themselves and worldly influences.
    This is where we as Christians need to be.
    We need to rub shoulders with worldly people to be “salt and light”, but at the same time not allow the world to be rubbed off on us.
    It is a tough balance.
    We need to rub the awesome power of Jesus Christ onto them.

    It is a constant challenge for me to keep that balance at work when I am around my worldly co-workers. I find myself falling into the same old traps time after time.
    I must constantly pray for strength, wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit.

    Thanks for this challenge Derek!

  3. i have thought so much about this scripture over the last several days. i can look back on parts of my life where the train seemed to jump the track and it was then that i gave too much of myself to the world – to people of the world that had it all figured out – people that were trudging through the same haze day after day that i was in – and it was these people that i often sought advice. it was completely ludicrous. it’s easier to see that now but this temptation to mingle with those that have no spiritual investment in me is still a constant struggle and something i have to remind myself of…

  4. It’s a great thing to actually see the Spirit in people. I know that when we became Christians we were so excited about it; we actually lost most of our friends – they didn’t want us to talk about God anymore – ha! Not! Sorry –

    If we consume ourselves with God’s Words and whatever work He has for us- that’s all we are going to talk about – on fire – some say. I think that people who actually do make God their life and not just apart of it can be spotted in a heartbeat…

    We all have different areas of influence that need to be banished from our lives. I quite smoking almost 5 yrs ago – I can never ever smoke another cigarette again in my life – or I will be right back where I started – some of life has to be isolated out – My best friend from Middle School actually asked me to stop talking about God – that was the end of our friendship – after 15 yrs of friendship – God came first… I still think about her and pray for her often – God still comes first though…

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