Posted by: Lisa Guyer | December 13, 2008

Fight for Me: A Plea

 I am writing this as a personal plea to everyone out there who is hurting because their spouse has had an affair with someone else.  Please know as you read this that I have never been on your side of an affair.  I have never had a spouse cheat on me or leave me.  So I cannot even begin to pretend to know how you feel.  I am also not making excuses for your spouse.  I am simply coming to you as a sinner who has been where your spouse has been and who wants them to be where I am now.

 I don’t know how to describe to you what is going on in a cheater’s mind during an affair, especially if they are like me.  I was the kind of person you would have never expected to commit this kind of sin.  So, when it happened I became like a totally different person.  I was still me, but somehow I was different.  Derek, my family, my friends, they all couldn’t figure out why I was so different and so detached from even my own reality.  What had changed?  I had allowed Satan to creep in and take over my life.  Everything that came out of me was a result of Satan’s hold on me. 

 In my mind, I knew all along that what I was doing was wrong.  I even wanted to stop and run from the evil that I was doing.  But something stronger kept me where I was.  There was a huge battle going on in heaven over my soul.  I was one of God’s lost children.  He was desperately trying to find me and rescue me.  But I kept running because I was being pulled away by Satan.  Am I not taking responsibility for my actions?  No.  I know that I am the one who did what I did, but I also know that Satan pushed me to that point.

 Why am I telling you all of this while you are sitting there hurting?  I’m telling you because I was able to win the battle.  But there’s no way that I could have won on my own.  Yes, God was fighting for me.  But God needed someone to work through in order to help me overcome the free will that He had given me.  He chose Derek to be that person.  Derek chose to stay and to fight for me.  He wasn’t fighting to get me to come home and to be married happily ever after.  No, he was just fighting to bring me back to God.  He knew that there was no hope for our marriage until I had the hope that only God could give me.

 I was a lost lamb.  I didn’t know where to go.  I knew where I wanted to be, but I had no idea how to overcome all of the sins that I had committed and how to get back home.  I felt like I was unlovable and unreachable.  But Derek fought tirelessly.  He fought for me even when I threw it back in his face by continually calling and seeing the other man.  He fought for me even when I betrayed him, because he knew that he wasn’t the only one hurting.  God was also hurting.  I was not only running from my husband, but running from my Savior.   

 Your spouse is in a battle right now.  Whether they seem to care or not, please all I ask is that you fight for them.  You may not ever be able to reconcile your marriage, I understand that.  But I am begging you to stay and fight for their soul.  I fully believe that if Derek had walked away the day that I confessed my affair to him, I would have never made it back to God’s side.  Please, allow God to work through you and to save your spouse.

 Derek put this video in an earlier post.  I hate to be redundant, but if you are the one that cannot understand what is going on in your spouse’s mind that would make them do the things they are doing, please watch this video again.  It is a very clear depiction of what happens when Satan takes over our hearts, but also what can happen when someone is there to fight for us.

 I beg you, with tears in my eyes… Please do not let Satan win.  Fight for them.

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