Posted by: Derek Guyer | December 8, 2008

ROTH Challenge #4

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe”

Philippians 2:14-15 NIV

As you make changes in your attitude and strive to deny yourself, you’ll begin to see numerous things about yourself you’ve never seen before. You’ll realize areas of your behavior and daily habits where God has no part. One of those areas will likely be your ability to stay positive. Selfish people always have something to complain and argue about. 

What if you chose to completely stop complaining about the simple things that frustrate you on a daily basis in your marriage? What if you stopped arguing to prove a point when you and your spouse talked? What if you determined to find the positive in all situations, to the glory of God? What if you determined to never complain or argue again?

This week, be blameless and pure as you shine like stars in the universe. Give God the glory as you hold your tongue and shine His light. Then, share your experiences with us. Share the differences this made in your attitude and lifestyle this week. As well, share how people responded to you, good and bad. In the meantime, we’ll pray this has a deep impact on your daily living.


  1. I purposfully did not come to the site yesterday because I have been struggling with this exact issue. I have been mean and harsh with words and actions that just prove how low I can get… I can feel the attacks on my family and I feel no protection right now. God is having it out with me – I guess I’d better shush up and listen to him huh… I’m glad your praying on this cause it’s not gonna happen with out it… we are much much to selfish and to think we are not selfish – is a problem of it’s own. All i’ve done the past few days is complain – meanly – I guess I should stop talking about it so I can go pray and start asking for forgiveness – so I can change – by the way – these challanges are hard!

  2. Um, yeah. I agree with Cari. These things ARE hard!! I’m thinking that just these first 4 challenges have given me enough to work on for a really long time!! (I’m saying that in a positive way…not a grumbling or complaining sort of way!!) 🙂

    I have realized this week just how negative I really am. I have never been a great conversationalist, but this week I have realized that most of my conversations that I do come up with begin with a negative comment. For example, I start a conversation with Derek….”The kids have been really driving me crazy today….” Or I talk to my mom, “It’s so frustrating how the dishes keep coming back right after I wash them….”

    Why can’t I start a conversation with, “Praise God my sink is full of dishes because that meant we got to eat today!” or “Praise God that my kids are driving me crazy today because that means that I have kids to love.”

    This is just like last week’s challenge….I have to just constantly repeat the verse over and over to myself. I am actually finding myself thinking BEFORE I speak now! (What a concept, huh?)

    God’s also pushing this one on me, because I have been trying to cheat on it. I told myself earlier today that if Derek asked me how I was feeling then I couldn’t lie to him so I would just have to tell him all of the bad things that I was feeling (ie, complain). But wouldn’t you know? Derek always asks me how I’m feeling, but not today!! God could see through my heart and just laughed at my sorry attempt to fool Him. Thank you God for helping me to see where I am so foolish.

  3. This challenge has been great for me. I found people responding to me totally different as the negative and “pity me” garbage went away. This came down to selflessness for me and had a huge impact on my ability to minister to others.

    Praise God!

  4. One other thing that just hit me last night was that I had done a pretty good job of doing less verbal complaining, but that I had done a terrible job of stopping the grumbling. To me, I think of grumbling as something that is done more under my breath, where complaining is out loud for others to hear.

    This week I focused on my outward actions, but I neglected to really rein in my negative thoughts that I tell myself. I would still think all of the negative things that I normally did, I just didn’t say them outloud. But still thinking them, is just as damaging. I really need to do a better job of just stopping the negativity all together.

  5. Yeah, me again…Can you tell that this one’s been good for me? 🙂

    Anyway, I know this is God-sent, as I just opened my email and saw a newsletter that I subscribe to. It is an amazing article for wives/mothers about how our grumbling and complaining affects our households. It is centered around this very verse from Phillipians.

    I would love to forward the email article on to anyone who wants it. Just let me know!! (Don’t think I can just post it on here because of copyright stuff)

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