Posted by: Lisa Guyer | November 7, 2008

Tired and Tempted

First of all, thanks for all of the well-wishes on the new baby, Josiah!  He is a beautiful blessing from God, and we are so thankful for him!  It’s nice to see how excited you all are for us.

Since he has been born, I have, obviously, been getting a lot less sleep than before.  And if you know me, you know that that is a serious problem for me!  I really need my sleep in order to be able to function.  I get crabby, and I lose my patience much quicker than if I get a full night’s rest.  But another problem comes up when I lose too much sleep.  Satan finds his way into my heart and begins to tempt me. 

I don’t think that Satan is testing me any more than he normally would.  But I know that when I am tired, it is a lot harder for me to ward him off.  So, I find myself in a constant struggle of keeping my thoughts in check. 

As I was driving the kids to the doctor today, I found my mind somehow go back to the time of the affair.  I did not allow myself to dwell on it at all, but just the picture flash that went through my mind was enough.  It was enough to bother me for the rest of the day. 

Know this: I have absolutely no desire to go back to that relationship again.  I am disgusted and sickened by that time of my life.  But there are still times that I am tempted by the thought of that time.  Is it because I didn’t have kids, and I was “free” to do what I wanted?  Is it because I was a “daring” person who didn’t have to worry about what others thought of me?  Is it because it was just plain exciting to do the wrong thing?  Who knows?  All I know is that the temptation is never completely gone for me.  When I am tired, Satan tells me that if I ran away from my life as it is, I could have rest and peace for myself somewhere else.  When I am stressed out with the kids, Satan tells me that I could have another life where I could indulge in me-time whenever I wanted.  When I am frustrated with Derek, Satan tells me that there are other men who would serve me better than Derek does.  Is any of it true?  No.  Does it sound good?  Yes.

Satan knows each of us all too well.  Look at Matthew 4:1-11 where it tells about Jesus being tempted in the garden.  What has just happened before this time? Jesus had been fasting for 40 days and 40 nights.  The Bible describes his condition by saying that “he was hungry” (to say the least!).  Satan knows that when you are tired or run down, you are at your weakest.  Jesus was tempted in a moment of weakness, so know for sure that it could happen (and will happen) to you.

I write this because I know that there are women out there who think that it will never happen to them in the first place.  They will never find themselves looking to fulfill their own selfish desires outside of their seemingly happy marriage.  I’d like to introduce you to the queen of “I would never do that”…….me.  I also know that there are women out there who have struggled with affairs (both physical and emotional) in the past who think that they have repented of that sin and that it is no longer an issue for them because they are so disgusted with it all.  You are wrong.  Satan got you once, and he will use your weaknesses to try to get you again.  Be aware.  Stay on guard.

How? By knowing what it is that Satan uses to get to you.  For me, it is stress and physical tiredness.  It’s also a time of year.  My affair happened in the fall.  So, this is always a hard time for me.  Just the smells and sights and sounds of fall can bring back memories.  What is it for you?  It could be as simple as a song on the radio or a certain type of drink that brings back memories of the affair.  Or it could come whenever you are sick, because you want someone to nurse you to health, and your husband doesn’t do that very well.  Whatever it is, find it.  Pinpoint it.  And then deal with it.  Tell your spouse your temptations so that he can help you stay ahead of them.  Be aware so that when those times, feelings, or smells come your way you can be on top of your game in order to not fall to them.  Know your weaknesses, and fight them off.


  1. Lisa,
    You are such a wise woman and I admire and appreciate your words of truth. It is extremely important that we are always on guard for Satan’s temptations. He is very patient and knows our weaknesses…he can be a roaring lion or quiet as a mouse, and very crafty. We must keep our armor of God (Eph. 6:10-20) and use the tools he provides for us. The book, Hedges by Jerry Jenkins, which Derek mentions in the “Desperate for Help” website section is outstanding in helping married couples build a hedge of protection around their marriage. Also helpful is to know what your spouse’s top emotional needs are and to be the person who fulfills those needs so they are not tempted to fulfill those needs outside the marriage. It can happen, it has happened to me and it happens gradually. Be cautious! Protect your marriages!

    I praise God for you and Derek and I ask His blessings on your precious family and to all the married couples you are ministering to. May Christ continue to keep a wall of protection around everyone involved. God Bless you all!

  2. i am so grateful that you wrote this post – i am encouraged by your boldness to confess that just because the affair is over doesn’t mean you aren’t tempted and tried again…i appreciate your wisdom and insight. you’ve given me much to ponder over. i especially feel alarmed because i know my spouse and i rarely get enough rest, it seems we stay exhausted. it’s so easy to even miss worship services or time with your brothers/sisters when you are so worn out…

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