Posted by: Derek Guyer | September 29, 2008

What Too Many People Don’t Get

Lisa and I really enjoyed the time together alone on Friday. We had a great time away from the kids for a couple of hours, but really were thankful for the chance to see Fireproof. It was a great encouragement for the people of God to start taking “what God brought together” seriously. As well, it was an incredible call for unbelievers to understand the utmost importance of having Christ at the center of our hearts and our marriages for them to succeed. 

One particular piece stood out to me as I watched: It’s the absolute necessity for both husbands and wives to protect their marriages. I can’t say this enough.

We’ll release more of this when we launch the book, Fall of the Home, but the major reason Lisa fell into her affair, was because she wasn’t protecting our marriage. I was building Hedges around our marriage, and she was not. She fell because she neglected to see the necessity to protect what she had.

I’ll never forget the first time I heard Lisa tell a couple we were helping, “If you think you would never do it, you probably will.” Lisa never thought she could have or would have cheated on me. It seemed impossible. So, in her mind, she didn’t need to protect it. As a result, our marriage failed.

This is the same story happening all over the country. Last night we spent time with a very close couple who have been through tumultuous times with affairs, alcohol, and bitter fighting. What once was blessed by God was then being torn apart by a roaring lion. Listening to them describe their situation was hard. They both told repeated stories of how they had never really protected what they had. There were no hedges and therefore, they failed.

It’s my prayer that the people of God recognize the vital nature of what’s happening in our day and age. We’re in an age of affairs and we have been given the responsibility of protecting it.

“What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

If you aren’t protecting your marriage, know this: You are leaving a foothold for Satan to creep in. If he knows he can get in, he will do it. I see and hear about it every day. Don’t let your heart be fooled.

Paul told Timothy to “flee youthful lusts”, but he didn’t stop there. He told Timothy to “pursue righteousness, faith, charity, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart”. Don’t just run from the sin that can so easily entangle us, but build walls of faith, righteousness, charity, and peace. 

I would highly encourage any and all who can to see Fireproof. I also want to encourage all of you to read Jerry Jenkins’ book, Hedges. As well, I would highly encourage you to grab Family Life’s “Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It” podcast with Mr. Jenkins. It’s free and there are two half hour clips with some great insight. 

Please, love your marriage enough to protect it. If we can help, please let us know how.


  1. Great thoughts. Lisa’s quote of, “If you think you would never do it, you probably will.” chills me to the bone. God, forbid it.

    Thanks for the reminder, and I’ll look into those books.

  2. We have recently read “Hedges”, and sure do wish we would have years ago.
    Most certainly could have saved alot of pain.

    Should be required reading (along with the Bible),
    for any married couple.

  3. I wish help came before the fact. Still, it helps to stay focus, and fall again.

    may god bless your labor, it’s not in vain.

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