Posted by: Derek Guyer | August 16, 2008

Wise Counselors

Talking with couples and individuals all over the country about broken marriages, we see common problems that seem to plague all of their thinking. While every one of these misconceptions is a big deal, one of them has been overwhelmingly frustrating in recent days: people seem to surround themselves with really bad examples and then listen to their advice. That’s crazy.

Who do you seek counsel from to help your marriage? What do they tell you? Even more importantly, but often overlooked, what do they know? Do they have any credibility or value to be offering to the discussion?

When people tell me the advice they’ve been receiving, I usually ask a couple of key questions:

  1. Does that person have experience with your problem or something similar?
  2. Were they successful in overcoming it?
  3. Do they have a Godly perspective based in scripture?

If you’re listening to your single friends advise you about loving your wife like Christ loved the church or submitting to your husband, how soon do you think you’re likely to be single as well? If you’re receiving instruction from someone who has failed in marriages repeatedly, then how many times should you expect to be married? 

How will your mentors, counselors, and advisors affect your faith, marriage, and home?

“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.”

Psalm 1:1-2 

Are your friends, coworkers, and family encouraging you to live a holy life by submitting to God’s will for your marriage? If not, maybe it would be wise to reconsider the time you’re spending with them.

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.'”

I Corinthians 15:33

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