Posted by: Derek Guyer | June 6, 2008

Testimony: Another Fallen Home on the Rise


Lisa and I are really excited about this post. We’ve been talking for some time about asking some of the couples we’ve been helping to share their stories. Without even having to ask, one of them has now done it.

Below is the story of another couple whose marriage has been riddled by an affair of immense proportions. Yet, they’ve begun to rise, and we’re really excited that they’re sharing their story. 

(As a side note, they’ve chosen to remove their names to protect their children. We’re happy to protect their privacy and the minds of their kids.)

Another Fallen Home on the Rise:

“I can’t thank you enough for your courage in opening your lives via this website.  Praise the Lord for you both and this website!  My husband found your site one morning when he was enduring the worst pain he’s ever felt in his life.  I am Jason’s wife, Mrs. A.  I am the adulterer who had an affair over 8 years ago.  I made a horrible mistake – I jeopardized our marriage, our children’s lives, and our future.  

I’ve been a believer most of my life, but I strayed from God during this period of my life and I regret it tremendously.  Like Lisa, I too fell into Satan’s trap and made the biggest mistake of my life. I cheated on my husband. The affair was with a very good friend of my husbands, whom I allowed to come into our lives in a way that I should have stopped, but without Christ first and foremost in my life, I was weak.  

I swore to myself that I would go to my grave and never tell Jason about the year-long affair.  I couldn’t bear to hurt him with the truth, and I thought I could save him the pain in spite of what I had done.  I was wrong.  God had other plans.  God has been very much a part of my life in the past few years, and I have grown into such an intimate relationship with Him.  I’ve finally stopped thinking about myself long enough to listen to God.  He convicted me to tell Jason the truth, to confess.  Confessing to God wasn’t enough.  I had to confess to Jason, he deserved to know the truth and have the opportunity to forgive me.  

“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” 

Matthew 7:5 NIV

I listened to God and the timing was right. 

“Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.”

Isaiah 64:4 NIV

I believe that any sooner would have been disastrous to our marriage.  We have both grown so much in Christ over the past few years.  I can certainly say that I took the “leap of faith” and believed God and trusted God because of His faithfulness. 

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” 

Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV

     My husband is an amazing man, he listened as I confessed, we cried as we held each other, and Praise the Lord, Jason forgave me.  

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

Eph. 4:32 NIV

My confession took place on 4/19/08.  Each day is a struggle in itself, but praise God that we are closer than ever, and our marriage is stronger than ever.  The wall that I built up over 8 years ago is crumbling down, piece by piece because of God’s amazing grace!   We both know in our hearts that God will use this for good. 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28 NIV

We have a purpose, our marriage has a purpose, and God will reveal it to us in His time and we will obey Him.  We fight daily to keep a wall of protection around our marriage to keep Satan out.  He is relentless, but God is Almighty!  Praise the Lord!

My daily prayer for my husband is:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

 Phil. 4:6-7 NIV

I share my thoughts about my affair to offer hope to those suffering.  Whether you’re the cheater or the faithful spouse, you are undoubtedly in pain.  I was in tremendous pain for 8 years, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  I still suffer from physical pain and recently migraines and by no means do I feel “better, relieved, a burden lifted off my shoulders”, or any such relief by confessing.  Watching my husband suffer the gut-wrenching pain that he is enduring is heartbreaking.  But God is good, merciful and faithful, and I know he heals broken hearts.  He has given me an inner peace through the Holy Spirit within me and I know in my heart and soul that our marriage will survive.  Through this painful situation we have certainly grown closer than ever and are on the road to oneness with Christ leading the way. 

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

John 14:27 NIV

May the Lord bless each person who reads this message.”

Praise God for another testimony of his goodness and mercy! Praise God that Jesus left us the perfect example of forgiveness! Praise God for another home on the rise!


Responses

  1. Praise God for confession. Praise God for repentance. Praise God for forgiveness. Praise God for Jason and Mrs. A!

  2. God is so Awesome, merciful, wise, forgiving, long suffering, and loving. He has given us the answers and the tools to work through anything that may come our way we just need to pray for the wisdom and the patience to find them and use them. We need to trust Him. God bless you in the steps you have taken to heal your marriage and Praise the Lord that He has blessed you with someone that loved you and Him enough to stay by you and be willing to work it out. Too often people take the loophole given instead of working through the hard times and coming out on the other side to what ever God has in store for them. Thank you for sharing your story.

  3. Thank you for sharing your experience. God’s timing is a wonderful thing and works completely seperate from our own at times. It took a lot of courage to tell your husband your story. And it took a lot of courage for him to forgive you. Thank you for taking the time to encourage others by confessing your own struggles. I will keep you both in my prayers.

  4. Dan, Faye and Rhonda, We both appreciate your encouraging words and prayers. Once we turn our lives completely over to the Lord, amazing things happen! Please continue to pray for our marriage and please tell others who are struggling about this website. Satan won’t give up, but God is Almighty!

  5. praise God for people willing to confess. there is much power here, praise God for your willingness to share!!! it is only when we hit bottom that God finally has something to work with in our lives!!!

  6. How awesome that you have worked through this and are stronger than ever. With God, all things are possible. You are an inspiration to all. Thanks for sharing and for your encouragement to others that they can overcome as well.

  7. […] more time we spend with other couples who have suffered from extramarital affairs, the more this reality about a lack of honesty becomes evident. We hear story after story about […]

  8. […] I have grown to love and deeply appreciate, who are celebrating their anniversary today. They have gone through some very difficult times and have overcome in Christ-like fashion. They have since become regular contributors, supporters, and encouragers […]

  9. […] seen incredible results. A few months ago, we were excited to have them share the testimony of their broken marriage with our readers.  Now we’re excited to be able to share one of the tools that God used to […]


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