Posted by: Lisa Guyer | April 25, 2008

I Fought on Satan’s Side: Lisa’s Story


It was my dream job.  I couldn’t have asked for more.  I was getting to work with horses all day long.  (Not everyone’s dream job, but mine!)  I was learning so much about what I loved to do!  Derek had joined with the owner of this ranch in a business partnership.  We were helping adults and children with disabilities to gain mobility and strength back by offering therapeutic riding.  I loved it and couldn’t have asked for more.  I was even getting riding lessons from one of my co-workers.  I had always wanted to do something like this but had never been given the opportunity.  Little did I know that this opportunity was not of God. It was of Satan. 

Derek and I worked together most days.  We became good friends with the other boarders and workers at the ranch.  This was Derek’s dream as well.  He was co-owner of his own business and working with horses.  Eventually, the logistics of owning the business caught up with Derek, and he was forced to work away from the ranch more.  He had to go to meetings and find new clients.  So that left me to do the therapies by myself with another co-worker. 

My co-worker and I continued on in our daily routines of helping clients and doing more riding lessons.  We became close friends as we worked one-on-one for hours at a time.  We talked about riding, our interests, and life in general.  We soon became close enough that we began talking about the relationships that we were in and our pasts.  Even in this, it was all very innocent in my mind.  But, I was slowly opening the door for Satan to come into my life. 

Eventually, the day came when we said goodbye for the day, and something happened at this goodbye.  Something changed.  He gave me a look. There was an awkward silence. Then, he gave me a seemingly innocent kiss on the cheek.  Satan had seen the open door and took full advantage of it. 

From there, things escalated quickly.  It started that evening with a phone call to me when I was at my second job.  He wanted to discuss what had happened that afternoon.  He read it as being that I wanted more.  From all of our conversations, he had gathered that I was unhappy in my marriage and needed something different.  Was I?  Was I really that unhappy?  Was I unhappy at all?  I couldn’t believe that I was.  But, here was an opportunity.  Somebody WANTED me.  I knew Derek loved and cherished me more than life itself.  But this was more exciting somehow.  It was wrong!  Somehow, in my mind, wrong equaled exciting. 

I conceded that, yes, there were a few things that weren’t fantastic in our marriage.  With that, I had invited Satan to come in and have a seat.  Immediately, my guard was down.  Here was a man offering to do everything better than Derek could.  He could take care of me better, love me better, even sleep with me better.  So, what was I to do?  I knew it was wrong.  I knew it was sinful.  I knew it would hurt Derek.  But Satan grabbed my selfishness and brought it to full light.  I wanted something for ME.

Day after day, my heart got harder and harder.  I began lying to Derek about when I would be at work.  I lied about my pager being broken and being unable to call.  I lied about why I was getting dressed up to go ride horses.  I lied about everything.  Our home fell apart.  We began fighting when we never had fought before.  I began resenting him.  I began believing the lies that were being told to me.  Satan, through my co-worker, was filling my head with all of the things that Derek was doing wrong and how poorly he was treating me.  I believed them and hated that Derek would treat me that way.  No man would push me around!  I even lied when Derek confronted me and asked if I was having an affair.  The very idea that he would accuse me of that!  Of course, I knew deep down in my heart that it was wrong and that he was right.  But Satan quickly let that thought fly out the window.

Finally, one day during a business meeting between Derek, myself, my co-worker, and the other business owner, my whole perspective changed.  There was a very heated argument between Derek and the other owner.  The other owner was taking advantage of Derek and denying his ownership of any part of the company.  I was upset that he would do that to Derek, but also thinking that maybe Derek had just misunderstood their agreement.  It became so heated that Derek finally said that he was leaving the business.  He stood up and went to the office to gather his things before leaving.  It was at this moment that God was asking me which side I was going to fight for.  Satan’s team was sitting at the table while God’s team was walking out the door.  Was I going to stand with my God and my husband?  Was I going to allow Satan to treat my LORD that way?  I admit this with tears running down my cheeks… I stayed with Satan.  I chose to let God and my husband walk out the door.  The other two men at the table smirked, as they knew their team had won. 

My heart began to change that day.  I still continued in the sin for a few weeks later.  But I never could get the thought out of my mind of what I had done that day.  To me, choosing to stay as my defeated, hurt, rejected husband walked out the door was worse than anything else I had done up until that point. 

Finally, I got up the nerve to sit down and talk to Derek.  I told him that I had been lying and that I had had an affair.  I confessed that I had been fighting on Satan’s side for a long time.  However, at that moment I began the journey of returning home.  Returning to fight on the LORD’s side.  Our home began to rise.


Responses

  1. You have me crying…..Haven’t so many of us watched our husbands walk out the door while we sat by? I am so grateful that you listened and heard God when He spoke to you. I am so completely grateful that you wrote this….Isn’t that a wise view for every woman to have? Ask ourselves…”if I do this thing for me whose side will I being standing on”….? I am truly grateful for you and for Derek’s honest and forgiving love and most of all….that you both are still here….together. I love you dearly and if there is anyone I would want fighting for me, Lisa…it’s certainly you.

  2. Lisa,

    I’m sure your account was most painful to write.

    I’m equally sure, though, that the LORD will powerfully use your testimony to remind other women (and men) of the importance of taking a stand for thier marriages, families, and homes–and, standing on HIS side.

    God bless,
    Cindy

  3. What a testimony to the power of God and it’s ability to change people’s hearts and minds. I admire your and Derek’s bravery and honesty. It is really and encouragement to me personally.

  4. I’m so thankful you got back on the right team. I love you and Derek so much and appreciate your willingness to humble yourselves and share all of this to help keep others from making the same mistake.

    I think this article will go a long way to help women because I have seen many that I have talked to and tried to warn them of the dangers of what they were doing and they just couldn’t see it. They just think you don’t trust them and aren’t being honest with themselves of Satan getting the upper hand.

    God bless you Lisa and God bless Derek for loving you and standing patiently waiting. “…and the greatest of these is Love. “

  5. i admire both of you for having the strength and determination to work through your difficult situation and try to see in it an opportunity to glorify God.

    hugs!

  6. Lisa, my love, you’re amazing! I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have written all that… both liberating, and humbling, I’m sure. I love you both so much… but there is a very special place for YOU in my heart.. because I know we are more alike than either one of us realize!

    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your wisdom… already.. at such a young age!

    Love you bunches!

  7. Lisa, you are a remarkable woman. Your honesty and bravery are to be commended. If more married couples knew that others struggle and fail as well– and still make a stand to keep the marriage going and growing– maybe we would all work harder to serve God in our relationships. May the Lord continue to strengthen you both in this new beginning in your life. The old sins have been washed away. Create a new life in the Lord.

  8. Lisa,

    I don’t have the words to say how proud I am of you, and to know you. How I ached within as I read a most assuredly abridged version of your experience only to arise as the sun with the power of resurrection, knowing that the good fire within us cannot be put out.

    I will forever admire you and even look up to you as a person, a person who knows the power of the gospel and has the authentic God given authority to speak knowingly on such a topic.

    Shelley asked me why I was crying as I try to think of something to say to express and words were too little to describe what I sense and feel.

    To express what I am feeling I compared what I know about you and Derek, the story that you’ve both lived through with all the sermons I hear and the sermons come across as as meaningless and full of air. I’d rather hear three words from either of you on the transforming power of the gospel than a hundred sermons on any topic because I know that with you, it’s not just a bunch of studied BS – your stories are an extension of who you are. They are real and substantive and super inspirational.

  9. […] of Righteousness- Derek’s Story I’m sure Lisa’s Story was a painful post for most of you to read. It was for me. Thank God you haven’t read the […]

  10. I have typed several different comments in here at different times, but have mostly avoided it because the idea of commenting on this post is intimidating to me because I don’t know how to not write a book about how much I love you guys and how deeply, deeply I respect you both.

    Know that I would be standing in front of you both giving you a silent, watery-eyed look full of the meaning of 7 years of friendship and the bond of going through the best and worst times with each other.

    Thank God for his healing.

  11. i admire you Lisa. this took a lot of guts. i 100% support you guys in the decision to make this website. you guys are truly examples of Christ living in your lives. praise God for your willingness to share this with others who may be hurting. 🙂

  12. Thank you to all who have responded so well to my post. It was a very nerve-wracking post to write. It also brought up a lot of terrible memories. However, I believe that reliving things like this helps us to remember our sins and what we have learned from them.

    I do not consider myself brave for confessing my sins out loud or telling my story. I feel like that is our responsibility as Christians…to “confess your sins, one to another…” (James 5:16) It is by the Holy Spirit’s power that we are able to do this, though. It is a tough step to take, but one that God asks us to do in order to heal ourselves and save others from making the same mistakes.

    Once again, thanks to all of you who have commented, prayed for, and emailed us about this. Your words of encouragement, love, and acceptance have meant so much to me. It is awesome to know that we can commit sins like this and still be forgiven and loved!!

    PRAISE GOD!!!

  13. Everything else aside, you have my deepest respect for fighting for something worth fighting for.

  14. […] because the pain was so unbelievable, but, one thing created the other monsters. There was an affair in our marriage…   […]

  15. […] shares the details of how she cheated. It’s gut-wrenching, and could be healing for a lot of people.https://riseofthehome.wordpress.com/2008/04/25/i-fought-on-satans-side-lisas-story/Affairs – Marriage – Families.comApr 28, 2006 … Why do married couples have affairs? It&39s […]

  16. I could have written much of this story. Thank you for your transparency and for your wonderful blog.

  17. […] sure many of you have seen the Passion of the Christ movie. This movie came out only months after I confessed the affair to my husband.  We were still having major struggles with my heart and with my attitude.  But I […]

  18. Aw, come on Lisa. You’re being too hard on me, your Master Lord Satan. You broke my heart. Don’t you think I didn’t fall for you? You told me I was your “forever man,” don’t you remember? How could you USE me like that?

    Well, I guess what does not kill me only makes me stronger. Once again I learned that I can’t trust you humans. I was beginning to think that I could open up to you and change my mind about destroying your puny race. You humans just consider me, Satan, to be your “booty call.” All I am to you is just a “good time boy.” You think you can hang out with me when you are in your 20’s, when your supple body is still booming, you feel immortal, and can still experience incredible orgasms. When I try to establish a beautiful, lifetime relationship with you, that’s when you get old, uptight, and desparately create this fantasy about your immortality and arrogant importance in the infinite abyss, and you toss me like yesterdays news to obsequiously cuddle up to your god like the last decades of your life never happened. Sob, sniffle… Why do I always have to learn this way!?

    Enough!!

    Now I know that your race is not worth getting to know. Dejected again by you sanctimonious, self-righteous humans makes once again determined to destroy you! That nips it, I will create the darkest most evil armies led by . I will make conservatives and the stagnates more powerful than ever. Let their corporate heartless evil armies enslave you all, wrapped in cross and flag!! Let all those who’ve sold their souls to me lead you into a screeching hell on earth and let my armies again win the battle of evermore, Armageddon!!

    Remember, Christians, it is your hatred of me that makes me stronger. Your fire and brimstone preachers who teach you to fear me stokes the flames of hell. Persecute the Muslims in my name, distrust the Chinks, restrict the rights of queers, and sneer at the pinko peacemakers. You wouldn’t even know what love is if you didn’t have hate for me. There would be no need for your god if you didn’t despise me. You would never worship me if the priestly caste did not brainwash you to fear the afterlife punishment.

    Christians are pathetic and Lisa you make me laugh. Continue to relinquish control of your life to the powerful who sold their souls to me. Osama bin Laden, Hugo Chavez, George Bush, Pat Robertson, Hu Jin Tao, Yassir Arafat, Ariel Shimon, the Pope. They are my servants one and all! In disquise they are Legion, Asmodeus, Lucifer, Belphagor, Leviathan, Ba’al, Beelzebub, and Mammon. I have many more minions where they come from, stoking the fires of stubborn conservatism, war, and hated.

    BTW Lisa, you didn’t break up with me. I broke up with you!!

  19. Dear Satan,

    First of all, let’s get one thing straight. You are NOT my Lord and Master. I serve a much higher power than you. One who does not have to threaten and argue with his loyal subjects as you have done.

    It seems that you have already forgotten your own fall and where you started. You were once among the blessed, walking and talking with Him, beautifully adorned with everything precious. (Ezekiel 28:12-19) But then you fell. You fell into your own pride and were then banished from the comforts of God’s side. You were cast out, embarrassed, and reduced to ashes. And here you stand now, sadly, still in the same state as you were then.

    Fortunately for me, it is obvious who broke up our hopeless relationship. It was my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. He rescued me from your grasp. If you were the one who had broken up with me, you wouldn’t still be chasing after me. But here you are, still chasing, and still coming up short.

    I admit. You are powerful. You are alluring and seductive. You have a guise of being beautiful and fun. Yet, even your power is a joke when you stand before MY king. Just go and read the story about yourself in Mark5. You were able to knock the man that you overtook to his knees and totally destroy himself. Way to go!! But that was only until Jesus came and looked you in the eyes. What did you do? You fell to your knees and begged for His mercy. He cast you out into a lot of PIGS! Your power was laughable then.

    Well, Satan, you may have power here on earth to do as you please. But I know that my Lord still reigns over you. You are not the power that you think you are. I truly feel for the people that you are deceiving every day. But I know that you will once again be cast out, embarrassed, and reduced to nothing. Your time is coming.

    Lisa

  20. […] release more of this when we launch the book, Fall of the Home, but the major reason Lisa fell into her affair, was because she wasn’t protecting our marriage. I was building Hedges around our marriage, […]

  21. it’s so encouraging to hear God’s Kingdom at work in this stuffed up world…my wife is ignoring my tears and I try to keep sharing my heart and repeating Scriptures but she seems to hate me more. I’m going through legal trouble to get more time with my child, all I can do is Pray, please say a prayer for us.

  22. Hi Lisa, thank you so much for sharing your story… God is definately using it! I stumbled across it and realised that a friendship I have is undermining my own marriage. I’m not protecting it!

    By your post, I am better prepared to protect my marriage and family and God has opened my eyes to the devil’s tricks. Thank you so much for sharing your story as a warning to other Christians.

  23. Wow! Praise God that He led you to “stumble upon” our page then! I remember how easily Satan deceived me. It was because I had always thought that it could never happen to me, thus it did.

    Praise God again that He opened your eyes before Satan was able to deceive you as well!!

  24. For sure!

    Thank you so much for sharing it with others.

  25. By the Grace of God Lisa. Get behind me satan.
    I know how easy it is to fall for his deceit, but the Power of Our Lord is far greater than anything we will ever know. I know i see it every minute of everyday.

    Grow in Gods Grace everyone
    Yours in Christ

  26. […] the twin boys we were adopting, and our home to the effects of sin’s fearsome hand because of my own wife’s sins. Satan stuck his ugly head into our home and and left our life in […]

  27. Just an update… still working on this and have been praying like crazy and God has totally come through for me and shown me ALL my sin. Bleah, not pretty. It has taken a long time to completely walk away but I am there now, seriously being tempted still however and your posts just ring so true for me.

    The sin has become so ugly to me now that no temptation could ever make me go back.

    I think we need to be so careful, that even friendships should be closely monitored!

  28. […] Still Runs Deep Recently I have had many harsh reminders of my affair.  Although it happened over 5 years ago, I am still haunted by certain aspects of it, and the pain […]

  29. […] was honored and, frankly, a little terrified. Five years ago, Satan took over our home and dragged us into the depths of hell, and today, we have been enlisted into an intense and […]

  30. […] Your ability to love your spouse has nothing to do with how compatible you are. Love is something you do even when it doesn’t feel good to do it. Follow Christ’s example and love as He did. That kind of love covers a multitude of sins. […]

  31. […] adopt our twin boys.  We were pretty far along in the process when I made the choice that I did to have an affair.  We had pictures of the boys, names picked out, and most of our paperwork and homestudy […]


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