Posted by: Derek Guyer | April 18, 2008

Freedom to Come out of Hiding


We’ve had a really exciting couple of weeks now, since we launched the site. The response to our story, the truth, and what God is doing through this site has been pretty unbelievable. We’ve received an amazing welcome, and we’d like to thank all of you. It’s great to see all of the views on the site and how many of you are returning over and over again. 

But, something has become much more apparent to me since we launched: People have been hiding behind things like their good looks, money, and anything else that will mask their insecurity. The response to our launch and what God is doing through it tells me people are aching for transparency. They’re aching for someone who will talk and be real. 

The problem with most people & couples is that they aren’t dealing with the hurt and pain in their own lives. They’re still hiding from it. You can see this in the story of the Samaritan woman at the well as she keeps changing the subject when Jesus probes deeper. 

“Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.

“I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.

 Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband— for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!”

“Sir,” the woman said, “you must be a prophet. So tell me, why is it that you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place of worship, while we Samaritans claim it is here at Mount Gerizim, where our ancestors worshiped?”

Did you feel the tension mount? Jesus cuts straight to the point, and because he loves her, says the really uncomfortable thing to say. There’s no time for idle conversation with Jesus, but this poor Samaritan woman is terrified. The conversation all of the sudden changes, and she’s off avoiding her troubles again and changing the subject, rather than dealing with things. 

Isn’t this how most of us are? It’s a race. A race away from anything and anyone who might challenge us in the slightest way about something in our own lives.

Why is this? What makes us run from the truth? Scripture says that the darkness doesn’t want to be exposed to the light. It’s terrified of the light. That means the very part of our hearts and lives that are a slave to Satan are fighting to stay there.

This is happening with marriages all around us, guys. Husbands and wives are hiding from the pain, the shame, and the challenges they need to be facing. It might be a husband who has found himself addicted to pornography or his work. Or it might be a wife who is sick of the lack of intimacy in the marriage who is looking for it elsewhere. It might be that the husband knows his wife needs more love and affection, but who has no idea how to show it. It might even be a wife who comes from a broken home and who has no idea how to trust or submit. Just like the woman at the well, they’re all hiding.

If you don’t know the freedom that comes from laying things on the line, you need to feel it. Go tell your spouse that you’ve screwed up. Tell them the truth. Get it out. Don’t blame them. Take responsibility and let the truth be what it is. Hurtful. Embarrassing. Shameful.

Think we don’t understand? You’re wrong. We do and that’s why we created Rise of the Home. We don’t believe you’re in the minority. We believe the message we’re delivering speaks to a majority of the marriages out there. You aren’t alone. 

“All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”

We’re broken too and it’s from our brokenness we’ve been saved. 

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”

Good news is that we are no longer slaves. Satan wants you to remain trapped in silence and fear. But, you were set free.

Am I guaranteeing your spouse won’t be hurt when you confess? Not in the slightest. If things have been hurting and broken, they’re likely to get worse. But, you can’t build a Christ-centered marriage on lies. Some times you have to tear down before you can build up. But, hiding from it isn’t working either, is it?

Stop changing the subject. Face the problems you’ve been running from and lay it on the line. Live in the freedom of Christ.


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