Posted by: Derek Guyer | April 13, 2008

Talk with your Spouse Tip #2

When you know your spouse is upset, tired, and/or frustrated, it’s a good time to just shut your mouth. Pointing out their flaws is self-serving and will only take their frustration to new levels.

Lisa and I were talking about this on the way home from our church fellowship this morning, because I wasn’t shutting my mouth. I could tell she was tired and, as a result, very negative about anything and everything. So, instead of keeping my mouth shut or even better, telling her I loved her, I pointed out every time I saw the negative. I think in my own head I justified my actions because I knew she was wrong, too. That was foolish.

There was definitely a way I could have pointed it out to be productive, but that wasn’t what I chose to do. I chose to persist with my own negative communication and really frustrated her.

There is a time and a place for pointing out things that need to be fixed. Part of being a loving spouse and a good communicator is knowing that sometimes it’s far better to shut your mouth and be irritated than to open it and further the problem.

Communication Tip: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.



  1. Amen!! 🙂

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