Posted by: Derek Guyer | March 31, 2008

We Hide

The more we’ve shared the story of the fall of our own home, the more often we’ve been privileged to hear from other couples as they share their falls & struggles. To say it’s humbling, would be an understatement. It’s a great honor and we’re glad to be a part of so many lives. Just since we posted last night, we’ve received numerous comments, emails, and calls sharing stories that are very much the same. I’m thankful that even more were sharing their sincere desire to avoid getting into this problem. Praise God!

We’ve been seeing what great lengths Satan will go to in his attempt to destroy homes and have seen incredible numbers of people who have suffered from his attacks. The picture of him prowling around seeking whom he may devour will forever be etched in my mind. He holds captive those of us he catches in a den of fear, guilt, busyness, and complacency. So, we hide.

You may not realize it, but you’re probably hiding now. He may have lured you into a couple of glances at pornography on the internet and now you just can’t stop looking. Or maybe he enticed you through the loving comments of another man who made you come alive. Or maybe he buried you in paperwork or TV and your spouse, children, and home just weren’t fun anymore. Maybe he’s convinced you it could never happen to you. Whatever it is, you’re hiding. You’re probably hiding from anyone who wants to talk about it. You may even be hiding from the pain and the shame of your sin.

As we’ve been counseling other couples through this process, we’ve found Satan tempting husbands and wives to stop talking completely, make nasty comments and tear at each other, avoid anything that could be confrontational and just say nice things to avoid the pain and on and on. They’re all hiding. No one wants to deal with the pain. It’s as if they believe it will all go away if they just don’t acknowledge it. Some run to alcohol. Some to another lover. Some just plop down in front of the TV and it becomes their affair. It’s become a universal problem.

Think you’re the first person? Feel stupid and want to crawl in a hole? Remember, it was Adam and Eve who first sinned and were found hiding in the garden. It’s been happening since the beginning. We all hide.But, you don’t have to hide. There is hope for your marriage and I’ll guarantee you this, it doesn’t lie with another woman or man. It doesn’t lie in giving up. The answer lies in Christ.

Jesus has offered a way. In fact, he says he is “the way”. He offered himself as an example. The book of Hebrews says he is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. But, not only is he able to sympathize, he’s able to show you a more perfect way.

“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

If you’re struggling in a broken marriage, look to Jesus. He is the way, the truth, and the life.


  1. […] This is happening with marriages all around us, guys. Husbands and wives are hiding from the pain, the shame, and the challenges they need to be facing. It might be a husband who has found himself addicted to pornography or his work. Or it might be a wife who is sick of the lack of intimacy in the marriage who is looking for it elsewhere. It might be that the husband knows his wife needs more love and affection, but who has no idea how to show it. It might even be a wife who comes from a broken home and who has no idea how to trust or submit. Just like the woman at the well, they’re all hiding. […]

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