Posted by: Derek Guyer | March 30, 2008

Fall of the Home

My name is Derek Guyer and this is a piece of my life. I’m a husband, father, professional blogger, diaper changer, lover, and most importantly, a man of God. I serve the God of Moses, Abraham, Peter, and some of the other amazing people mentioned in scripture. As a result, I am blessed.

But, my life hasn’t always been so blessed. There was a very dark time in my life where I experienced death, decay, and pain on a level I had never seen before. It killed our home. It destroyed my business. In fact, almost everything else you could imagine was deeply wounded during this time. I call this time in our life, “the Fall”. 

It’s so hard to know where to begin, because the pain was so unbelievable, but, one thing created the other monsters.

There was an affair in our marriage    

Some of you who know me may be finding this out for the first time. Some of you have known for a long time. As well, some of you have no idea who we are. No matter what, it’s tough to say and it’s tough to hear. We struggled for two years after The Fall. During that time we lost the twin boys we were adopting, our business, and as a result, the home in which we were living. It was a time of incredible loss and the feeling was very similar to that which I read in the story of Job. So much loss and so much pain. And despite the healing we’ve been through, there are still moments where the sin is remembered and the wound is opened back up again. Satan wants us to stay fallen.

You may be wondering why I say it was so much like Job, though. Why? Because Job glorified God through it and the Bible says something incredible about Job next:

“The LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before…The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first.”   

I like to call that “The Rise”. Through difficult times, Job gave God glory and as a result, God blessed Job. We made our mistakes and our home was destroyed. But, like Job, we have risen. We have two beautiful children, Malachi and Caitlyn. I could go on and on about the blessing they have become to us, but that would only begin to explain the blessed life we live. We have an amazing church family who have surrounded us through the past couple of years and encouraged us to be better people. And we are. Most of all, we have God and his son Jesus.

We have risen from the ashes of death and destruction and have a home that honors God. We still fall, but we are on the rise and all thanks to the blood of Jesus. To save our marriage, we looked to the “author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame” and now he sat down at the right hand of the throne of God to mediate for us. Jesus showed us how to love one another, by loving us and giving himself up for us. That’s how we saved our marriage & our home, and began to rise. We are products of an amazing plan. We are redeemed.

This site is our attempt to share “The Fall” and “The Rise” of our home. We think it can be a blessing to others and we pray that it will save other marriages the pain we suffered. We’ve seen it happen already in our specific area, but God has asked us to take it further, so we are.We hope to help other couples learn how to love, communicate, and build Godly homes through Christ-centered marriages. We’ll do that through regular posts on the site, tips to help facilitate better communication between spouses, the book we’re writing about the rise of our home, insights we find as we counsel and encourage other couples, and most of all, the word of God.

We’ve prayed about this for a while and God has made it painfully obvious that now is the time. So, here we are. This is our site and this is our story. Check back often and join in on the discussion. This is for you.

My prayer:

Father, bless the men and women whose eyes see these words. There are some reading now who have already suffered as we have and some who are on their way there as well. Open their eyes to where they have fallen and create homes and marriages that are set on fire for you. Heal the wounds. Help these men and women to prepare their hearts for you. You are the Lord. Be honored through the rise of our homes. You are awesome.   

Drop us a note and feel free to leave us your email address and as new tools are created over the coming weeks and months, we’ll share them with you. We won’t pass out your email. It’s just a way for us to keep up with you and let you know what’s going on with the “Rise of the Home”.


  1. Hey D,
    great thoughts! I’m excited to see what’s to come. I love your family to death!

  2. Ashley, we’re excited too. We can’t believe the response that has already come and look forward to whatever God has in store.

    We love you too!

  3. […] I don’t know how you feel about this, but confessing my sin has to be one of the most liberating experiences of my life. Laying my sin, sorrow, and wretched […]

  4. […] what ignoring this problem can do to your marriage. I believe this problem had a big effect on our personal fall. I’ve also seen it destroy numerous […]

  5. […] and I believe this contributed to our own fall. We lost sight of what it meant to be husband and wife in the eyes of God. Satan had us right where […]

  6. […] our only focus. I can understand why. We do have deep hearts for broken marriages and obviously can sympathize for those who are in […]

  7. […] Finally, I got up the nerve to sit down and talk to Derek.  I told him that I had been lying and that I had had an affair.  I confessed that I had been fighting on Satan’s side for a long time.  However, at that moment I began the journey of returning home.  Returning to fight on the LORD’s side.  Our home began to rise. […]

  8. Thank you, both of you. This work, this ministry gives glory to God.

  9. Derek, I praise God for you and your family. Although I have known you just briefly, today was the first day we actually talked. The way you live your life through a Godly perspective is an encouragement. Thank you for sharing.

  10. […] tell you that my home has nothing to do with these types of things, but I’d be lying. We have suffered from an affair and the foundation of our marriage was rocked. We’ve seen the devil’s handiwork and […]

  11. Thank you for sharing your story and your insight! I look forward to reading more.

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